Many same-sex couples across America have hopes to raise a family. Unfortunately for these couples, starting a family does not come as easy as it does for straight couples. While straight couples can have a baby the "traditional" way as long as they are physically able, same-sex couples have to rely on other alternatives to start a family. Some gay men choose to have surrogate mothers, in which a woman is paid to carry and give birth to your child, some lesbians have their own children through fertility clinics and sperm banks, and some couples choose to adopt.According to the Seccombe text, Families and Their Social Worlds, only nine states allow openly homosexual adoptions. These states include: California, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Washington, Washington D.C., and Wisconsin. Because so few states allow for open adoption, many gay men and lesbians have had to cover up their sexual orientation in the past. However, this leads to problems for a couple since only one of the parents will have legal rights to the child. In states where openly gay adoption is not allowed, one person must adopt the child and their partner has to apply for the position of "co-parent" so they may also be considered the child's legal guardian.
The picture above is from a documentary called "Daddy & Papa" that follows a group of gay men and their children. Producer Johnny Symons and his partner William Rogers knew that they wanted children but were daunted by the process that was ahead of them. To get their son, Zachary, they had to go through the adoption process which even included CPR classes. William later comments on the fact that straight couples can simply have sex to get a child and do not need the approval of anyone while he and his partner were having to pass classes in order to start their family. On top of that, Johnny and William had to face Zachary's foster mother who was not happy about the idea of "two daddies" until she got to know them and realized how much love they would give to Zachary. (See video below. . . )
• Gay men and lesbians sexually abuse their children.
Truth: Studies on sexual abuse show that homosexuals no more likely to sexually abuse children than heterosexuals.
• If a child is raised by gay men or lesbians they also will turn out gay.
Truth: Studies on this assumption show no evidence that the sexual orientation of the parents (birth or adoptive) influences the sexual orientation of the child.
• Children raised by gay men or lesbians will face many problems from growing up in an abnormal family.
Truth: No studies show evidence that children raised by homosexuals are different from children raised by heterosexuals when it comes to their psychological and developmental health.
Source: daddyandpapa.com
Discussion Questions
• According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in April 2005 110,000 children in the U.S. were in foster care waiting to be adopted. Should these children be deprived of a loving home simply because the parents in question are homosexuals?
• Have you ever known someone with two moms or two dads? How did that make you feel? Were there more similarities or more differences in their family compared to "traditional" families?
Considering the fact that a great amount of children are in the foster care sysytem I don't believe that they should be deprived of a loving home regardless of my own personal opinion. If this country were truly based on equality it wouldn't be such a hassel for these couples.
ReplyDeleteConsidering the fact that a great amount of children are in the foster care system, I don't believe that they should be deprived of a loving home regardless of my own personal opinion. If this country were truly based on equality it wouldn't be such a hassel for these couples.
ReplyDeleteEmily Zavala
I agree with Emily, so many children have no home, and are living in unstable environments due to being in the foster care system. I think if someone wants a child and could finacially and emotionally support them then they should have the ability to recieve a child.
ReplyDelete-Lisa Rodriguez
This is a really valid point, children should be in a family that loves them, regardless of sexual orientation. I babysit for a lesbian family who has just had their 2nd child. It really is very natural at their home, and the daughter, who is about 3 now, does not quite understand the situation but she is an extremely well adjusted young child. I do know that they each have a different bond with their children. One wife carried one child, and one wife carried the second child about 6 months ago. There is an, almost uncomfortable, feeling about the guilt they feel about their partner in regards to the child being from their womb. I think it's very interesting to look into.
ReplyDeleteAlli Shortt
I really don't believe that someone should be discriminated against due to their sexual orientation. This is modern discrimination and shows that people have a hard time excepting anything or anyone that seems different. We can compare the hatred and the unfair rights these people face to those when this country was dealing with the right of black people. If all people are truly equal then we should all be treated that way white black gay lesbian people are people and all people deserve the right to be happy and if marriage and children is what makes people happy then gay people should be allowed this right as well.
ReplyDeleteAlyssa Wood
Pertaining to IFV that we spoke of in class, and also adoption, I have a story. I met with a women the other day for an interview to babysit her son. It turns out her son if an "invtro baby". Even though she is heterosexual, she told me how hard the actually adoption process was for her. That is why she ended up doing fertility treatment. She explained to me couples wait some five years to adopt an infant/newborn. Just something to think about....
ReplyDelete-Kimberly Wabik
This is such a significant topic when we consider our society today and the nature of families. It's heard wrenching to consider the millions of homeless children and poverty struck areas across the globe.
ReplyDeleteThis discrimination of states prohibiting gay couples to adopt children/ process of adopting being so much harder due to sexual orientation is so unjust. Due to our society's stigma against gay adoption and parenthood millions of neglected children both within and outside the U.S are denied survival: basic needs shelter, food, water, nurture, education etc.
It's also disturbing to see the glossy glorified publicity of adoption in the tabloids among the rich and famous. From celebrities such as Angelina Jolie/ Brad Pitt, Madonna, Meg Ryan, Sarah-Jessica Parker etc.. splash upon magazine covers- although I encourage adoption the media portrays celebrity adoptions as a "trend" while our society's eyes are closed to the gay/lesbian population. While wealth and power do allow more options. Obviously money and fame buy one power, and the celeb. gay population have a greater chance of adoption verses civilians- what it really boils down to is a family which have the means to provide a safe, nurturing home regardless of class.
I came across an interesting article which questions celebrity adoption and plays devil's advocate (although I know the focus is on gay marriage).
http://webcenters.netscape.compuserve.com/celebrity/becksmith.jsp?p=bsf_celebadoption
-Lindsey
All the points listed above are very interesting. I also agree with Emily that their are too many children in this world that do not have loving homes , and that it shouldn't matter the sexual orientation of the people who want to provide these children with a loving and warm home. I also think that the last video really shows just how silly it is to assume that a child coming from a homosexual family is going to be a homosexual. My favorite part of the blog was when it says "William later comments on the fact that straight couples can simply have sex to get a child and do not need the approval of anyone while he and his partner were having to pass classes in order to start their family." This quote just makes me think that in order to be a parent at all we should all have to take classes on parenting regardless if you are capable of having your on child or not.
ReplyDeleteHaley Puckhaber
I agree with Haley when she quotes William. Since it is so much easier for a heterosexual couple to get pregnant, why do they get the special treatment? I know of some gay couples who are way more qualified to raise children than straight couples. But if the government tried to regulate straight people having children, it would be a much bigger deal than when the government regulates gay people [maybe because straight people can procreate without others knowing their business, as opposed to gays who have to involve a third party, such as doctors or adoption agencies]. I'd be curious to see the comparisons between the selection processes of adoption candidates for straight couples versus gay couples. I know that adoption in general is a long process but is it significantly longer for homosexual couples?
ReplyDeleteLyndsay Whitaker
I think adoption is a really interesting topic to think about whether it is a homosexual or heterosexual couple trying to adopt. It seems like the higher class a person is in, the more benefits they receive. For example, Angelina Jolie can adopt as many children as she wants, where as a normal couple has to wait years. I wonder what will happen if a high profile gay couple wanted to adopt? Would they go through all of the same trouble as a low profile gay couple?
ReplyDelete-Lisa Rodriguez
I think that any type of couple should be allowed to adopt children. As long as they can provide a loving, stable environment for that child then I don't see why it matters whether they are gay or straight. I knew a boy who was in my elementary school class who had two moms. I did not understand what that meant when i was little so I asked my mom. She just told me that some people have two dads or two moms for parents.
ReplyDeleteAnd with what Lisa stated on adoption with high profile couples, I wonder that same question. I also think that it is unfair that many famous couples have been able to adopt so easily, when there are couples who can afford to adopt as well but have to go through such a long process to finally adopt a child.
On the lines of the high profile gay couple, I wonder the same thing. I mean Rosie O'Donnell was able to adopt all her children, however she did not do it in the public eye. But what if someone today like Ellen wanted to adopt a child?
-Chelsea Lepkowski
I just dont understand how our country has a foundation of liberty and equality and yet every couple of decades we find another social group to oppress. Gay marraige I feel should be allowed, all the facts that are given all the arguments stated against same sex marraige have not proven how it really affects outside parties looking in. To clarify, the course of my life will not be changed because same sex couple that I am only aware of because there marriage was in the news. Even if it was a part of my personal, some relative or freind, I would still struggle to find a reason why I should stop them from happiness force them out of their identity. Furthermore gay couples should be able to adopt for the same arguments put forth by Emily and Haley. There are so many children in foster care without loving homes or a loving family and most of those kids who stay in foster care generate developmental and psychological issues. If the only reason why a couple are denied the option to adopt because they are homosexual then there is something seriously wrong with this country.
ReplyDelete- Nick Pedrick
I agree with many of you that couples who are homosexual should be able to adopt. I see it as, if adults are responsible, caring and able to provide a supportive environment for a child then they should be able to adopt no matter what their sexual orientation is.
ReplyDeleteTaylor