War and the American Family

INTRODUCTION
With the current war reaching its sixth anniversary this month, many people have forgotten its existence, but we need to remember that there are still families and combatants who are living with this war present in their everyday lives. Going into this project no one in our group really knew about the affects that the war is having on families, so we used this assignment as an opportunity to research more about it. We should remember that we are not the only country in this war, and our families are not the only families dealing with these issues, but for this project we chose to focus on the American family. There are many topics that we could have focused on in relation to the American family, but we chose to research specifically social policy, the affects on children and spouses, and the adjustments of a military member returning home.


SOCIAL POLICY
The military helps support it’s members by granting benefits to those enlisted and their families. The government provides family advocacy, parenting programs, financial management, spouse employment and education aid, and youth programs. These free services give help, strengthen the family dynamic and act as a support system. They also provide legal assistance and free healthcare without co-payments. The military offers families government housing, housing stipends, and/or housing on military bases to ensure they are able to remain stable even when there is constant relocation. This isn’t always the case in that the waiting lists are long for housing, as well as some of the other benefits, and it can take years to get a house. For those whose family member dies in active duty there are survival benefits such a burial compensation and continued access to current benefits. This allows families who have suffered a great loss help financially cope with the death. Other benefits also include discounts on everything from food to airline tickets.
There are also some bills that have been passed that directly affect military families. One is the post 9/11 GI Bill which will pay for college tuition, books, and housing stipends while in school. This allows for the family to advance so that they can be supported financially through furthering their access to higher paying careers. Also there is the Thrift Savings Plan established from the Federal Employees Retirement System Act of 1986. This allows for families to set up retirement funds and 401k so that they can have stability down the road. The last major bill that affects military families directly is The Family Medical Leave Act which Bush amended to include those in the military. A family member can take off work for up to 26 weeks without threat of job loss if their family member is called to active duty or returns from active duty with an injury. This is helpful for the huge adjustment periods of leaving and coming home for military families. This does not include pay which may limit who can use this support.

-Kayla Harding


CHILDREN
Today we are facing a time when our country is dealing with a situation of global conflict and unrest. Because of this, many military personnel are being deployed to foreign countries or different places in the United States. These people are often taken away and separated from their families for long periods of time. Families that have to go through this sort of separation often face challenges and sometimes stress and anxiety. It is a change that impacts a child’s life forever.
For a child it may be harder to adapt to a parent being away at war. There are specific signs that children may possess that are a direct result of this separation. Every age group has certain signs that parents should be aware of. For infants (birth-12 months), they may react to the disruptions in their schedules by eating less, losing weight and being very sensitive. For toddlers (1-3 years), they may be overly sensitive, throw temper tantrums or have problems sleeping. For preschoolers (3-6 years), they become aware that their parent is missing and may be delayed in potty training. They might sleep off schedule, have physical complaints or suck their thumbs. For them it becomes more personal because they might think, “Daddy doesn’t love me” or “Mommy is angry at me, that’s why she is gone.” For school age children (6-12 years), they are aware of the realities to why their parent is away and also know the dangers that go along with it. They may become aggressive and whiny, and fearful that their parent might be injured or die. For teenagers (13-18 years), they may become rebellious, irritable and challenging. Some signs are sexual acting out and drug or alcohol abuse.
These are important signs that people need to recognize when working with children. They can be helped through the situation if proper measures are taken. It is important that people show that they care for these children or the situation will only become worse. There are a few ideas that will hopefully ease the stress for any child dealing with a parent being away at war. Always talk as a family, letting out any anxiety, worries, or feelings that may be going on inside. Always continue family traditions, structure and discipline. Allow the child to communicate with their deployed parent in any way possible. Encourage honesty and never make promises that you cannot keep. These are some things that will hopefully help children get through this rough time.

-Kaitlyn Wechsler


READJUSTMENT INTO FAMILY LIFE
As of last year, more than 55% of soldiers in this war were married and nearly 513,000 soldiers on active duty collectively had more than 493,000 children. This shows how the American family is evolving in relation to this war and how much it affects them, especially when their family member comes home. It is encouraged that family members discuss how they felt about the separation.
According to a study done by Virginia Tech researchers, after holding 14 focus groups with 107 youths to talk about their views of deployment, 42 kids said a military parent’s return led to a tough post-deployment reintegration.
Army Maj. Keith Lemmon, a pediatrician at Madigan Army Medical Center, said, “There’s a lot of attention on the mental health of returning troops, but children and families seem to be receiving less.”
Sylvia Kidd, director of family programs for the Association of the U.S. Army said it takes “about a year to reintegrate into the family.” And about families who experience multiple redeployments, which is very common in this war specifically, she said, “It would be one thing if they were able to spend weeks at home to rebuild that link, but they can’t.” More than a half million people have been deployed two or more times. This increased awareness of the dangers of deployment can wear on the family. As they are trying to reintegrate, they are thinking about when they are going to leave again.
Children’s responses to their parent coming home from war are influenced by their developmental level. Toddlers might not remember the parent well, so they may act shy or strange around them. School-age children may not understand their returning parent’s need to take care of themselves and to spend time with their spouse. Teens might seem distant as they continue their activities with their friends. Children who’ve grown accustomed to the soldier’s absence, naturally turn to the other parent for everything.
Couples might find that the deployment has strained their relationship. Family problems that existed before the deployment usually reappear after they come home. The first week or so is like the honeymoon again, but then couple’s realize that the picture of their family and relationship they had before the deployment is not the same. Coming home is harder than going. Veterans often feel that they are an outsider in their own life.
About 80% of combat veterans who deal with the changes and challenges of coming home will adjust after universal periods of sleeplessness and anxiety, studies show. But a significant 20% of those continue experiencing these difficulties, with PTSD (post-trumatic stress disorder), depression, and alienation. Single soldiers face a less complex situation than those in relationships, but a potentially more isolating one. One study of 88,000 soldiers who had been to Iraq found that after six months, half of those who had shown symptoms of PTSD were free of them, but, there were twice as many new cases.
The rate of PTSD among veterans returning from Iraq range from 12%-20%. The younger the veterans are, the more likely they are to have health conditions. The most prevalent are PTSD, substance abuse, and depression.
In families, you see more marital problems, more behavioral problems in children, more family violence, and the potential for the generational transmission of violence.
This is also the first conflict in which women are serving in combat situations in large numbers. Although there hasn’t been much research on the difference between PTSD in men and women, it has been proven that when men and women are exposed to the same trauma, women are twice as likely to get PTSD.
Many families are also dealing with the return of their family member physically disabled, which poses a different experience on the adjusting family. Most disabled veterans cannot receive medical treatment without a disability claim approval, but the decision on a claim can take up to twelve to fifteen years. Some pending claims go back to the Vietnam era. Many veterans give up in despair or frustration, fall into drug or alcohol dependency, or commit suicide. Even when a claim is approved, they face ongoing problems with care because of long waiting lists due to the dramatic rise in demand for medical care because of the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Military families, compared to non-military families, won’t seek out mental health services as much for many reasons. One is that they don’t want to be “found flawed,” even more so than non-military families. When the emotional and behavioral problems become too great, families might reach out to the mental health services of their insurance plans. Many military families experience uneven quality of services, problems of continuity of care, restrictions on the number of mental health sessions, or lack of freedom to choose what they want. Non-military families experience the same issues, but military families have a higher expectation of the quality of their care. They believe that serving and sacrificing for their country permits them better treatment. They feel hurt and disrespected. When these feelings become too painful, they often avoid seeking help altogether.
We must also remember those families who don’t have anyone returning home. Military spouses are usually viewed as hardy, “salt-of-the-earth” type of people who raise resilient children to endure relocations, absent parents, and emotional pain. When the death of a spouse and parent occurs, these families often experience shame in feeling weak, out of control, and emotional. They may feel like they are disappointing their spouse’s or parent’s legacy by crying or being too emotional.

-Whitney Jewett

QUESTIONS
Do you think the government provides enough assistance for military families? How do you think these benefits affect families?

What advice or help would you give to a child that was going through a situation in which a parent was being deployed?

What advice would you give to military members who are returning home, in order to adjust back to family life? What advice would you give to their family members?


SOURCES
http://www.defenselink.mil/militarypay/benefits/militaryben.html

http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/ndaaamndmnts.pdf

http://www.nmfa.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home_familymemberbenefits

https://www.achievesolutions.net/achievesolutions/en/boeing/Content.do?contentId=18322

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/families_in_the_military

http://www.armytimes.com/community/family/military_kidstress_intro_070904w/

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/coming_home_adjustments_for_military_families

http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=60807

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/565407

http://www.dralegal.org/cases/Access_to_Veteran_Benefits/VCS_v_VA.php

http://www.ejfi.org/family/family-53.htm

http://www.helpstartshere.org/Default.aspx?PageID=1123

dysfunctional families

Personally, I don’t feel comfortable with the term "dysfunctional families" As we all have leaned in class, a "dysfunctional family" is only defined within the terms of the society which it is present in, and within the context of each family. Regarding the influence of media on the family, I recall us having our very fist blog on a similar topic. Most TV shows today are still fairly based off of the "traditional" family view, but are branching off to encourage more diversity. There are famous shows like My wife and kids and of course we all know The Crosby’s who are primarily directed at African American families yet loved by so many others. While TV shoes such as The Gilmore Girls and Everybody Loves Raymond, and even friends do incorporate more diverse characters, there isnt enough of this diversity of family in the media just yet....

I remember the movie Save The Last Dance, and that really impacted our generation of interracial relationships. I honestly dont watch television, and only am familiar with just a few shows. I think many still have that uncomfortable look/ feeling when seeing interracial couples and Lesbian/Gay couples. I do however strongly believe that hopefully, by the time we are all in our fifties, diversity will be old news, and nothing of discomfort, judgment or Surprise. Since media does have a significant impact on the development of out society, encouraging television shows and movie makes of more diverse characters is critical. America is a country of mostly immigrants, including its citizens.We has reshaped the view of society, not only through the media, but through our social networks as well.

Sabina M.

Thank you to all those who participated in our blog discussion this week. There were many great points brought up in the discussion. In short, our class seemed to agree that the media does portray the ever-changing family. We seemed to have different opinions on how much children and adults are influenced by the ideas the media shows as norms on TV, some of us thinking it would have great influence and others thinking one's own family has much more influence on the child's values and beliefs. All of the are great points. We mentioned that there are a few forms of families that seem to be missing in the TV shows as well including: gay families, single fathers, adults with no children etc. and also how they should be included in the TV shows to create more acceptance in society of all kinds of diverse families. I think it will be interesting to see if in the future new TV shows do come out showing more types of families and we all agreed that that would be a positive change for the media to make.

-written by Taylor Faulkner


Thanks for participating in our blog, from the whole group as well.
Taylor Faulkner
Meredith Gagnon
Justine Gilbane
Jamie Goulart

Discussion Question

I wrote about Friends and the verity of family structures and relationships that were shown on the show. My question is what is missing. What kind of families are not being shown in the media. How does this make you feel. Or do you think that everyone can find a family like theirs somewhere in the media. 

-Justine

"Friends" and the Media

The Media shows families in many ways subtle and obvious. I am sure most of you remember the show Friends. This show originally fallowed the lives of 6 people, 3 guys and 3 girls all in there mid to late 20's. As the show went on these people changed and grew and so did there relationships. In this show many people Married, Cohabited or had children together. I am sure if you think of friends this is not the first thing you think of. However, when I think back to the show I can think of an example of most of the things we covered from babies to relationships. I will now list some of the characters and the events in there life that correlate with the class discussions. 

I will start with Ross-the Nerdy Paleontologist.

*He marries his first wife and has a son with her and then he later found out that she is a lesbian. This means he is married, gets divorced and has a child with his ex wife. 

* His next relationship is with an International women named Julie. This covers relationships with people from other places. 

* His third wife is his child hood love. His friend Rachel. They get married when they are drunk and late divorce and have a child. Rachel and Ross take care of there child and live there separate lives.

* To sum up Ross has been with 3 different wives all in different situations. 

Phoebe is this creative free spirited kind hearted women. 

* She marries a friend from Canada who she believed is Gay, he later divorces her because he realizes he is straight. This sub plot is a bit more far fetched but this does show that people marry for different reasons. And some times people end up leaving there partners of the opposite sex for one of the same sex. 

*Later Phoebe becomes the surrogate mother for her brother. Through in vitro fertilization i believe and ends up giving birth to triplets. 

Monica and Chandler are friends who end up falling in love and getting married. They are in capable of having children so they adopt one.

Joey the last friend is bachelor and loves every moment of it.

It is funny how family and relationships can sneak into a show. This show was a popular show in america and it ran for many years. I believe that show found a way to show the diferant sides of america and the different families. It made it light and made all kinds of love and relationships and love excepted. They would have the characters vocalize the issues and express different opinions. Every character had a happy ending so in a sense they gave hope to the rest of the world. 

I hope that this opens your eyes and makes you take a closer look at the shows you watch and how they show family. 

Thanks for your time, Justine Gilbane

Media influences on family

Keeping Up with the Joneses

Families around the world are becoming more and more similar now a days through influence of the media illustrating an impression towards children and family norms. Throughout the history of human civilization, there has been a prevailing motif of neighborly competition. At its root, it is a drive for social acceptance. This is best shown by the advent of television commercials and the respective toy phenomena that now rock elementary schools all over the world. Before television and other forms of mass communication, neighborly competition was left to just that—neighbors. This predictably led to diversification among children’s toys across the world. This can be shown at almost any antique auction, where old handcrafted toys from exotic countries are kept in pristine airless boxes that exude their extravagant price. But here in the beginning of the twenty-first century, that diversification is quickly disappearing. Especially now that the internet is merging with television through complex video gaming systems like the Xbox 360 and Play station 3, kids are playing the same games all across the world with each other. And thus, the difference between a family in Japan, a family in Bosnia and a family in America is evaporating.

Culture generates through interaction, and before mass media the only interaction possible was physical. From small and subtle things like borrowing spices to gathering together to sing Christmas carols, a sense of neighborhood grew up slowly and in tightly-knit circles. These days the physical boundary is no longer an obstacle, starting with the telegraph and moving all the way to talking via satellite telephones, electronic mail and blogs. Unfortunately, however, this technology is still only available to countries with sufficient infrastructure. Many countries lack clean drinking water, hospitals and highways. In these impoverished nations, establishing a steady and accessible internet connection is not a practical project. This is especially an issue considering the rate at which technology advances; the best computers twenty years ago are now hardly useable. This leaves those countries completely in the dust, literally generations behind countries using the digital superhighway. This creates a drastic difference in appearance between societies with this technology, and those without. And so while connected countries become much more tightly bound, other nations and other people are falling farther and farther behind both economically and socially.

As humans and our societies evolved, being in good standing with your neighbors was a matter of life and death. As many Calvin and Hobbes cartoons gleefully pointed out, we humans would not last long in the jungle. Our survival depends on using our largest evolutionary advantages, namely our tool-making hands and complex language systems. Being a social outcast during cave-dwelling eras would quickly mean extinction, and so humans have been conditioned both genetically and psychologically to avoid being a social outcast. As global cultures converge and are subsequently capitalized, the scope of a neighborhood goes beyond physical bounds. The children of the past few decades born in these societies are especially affected by this. This is because of commercials. As any parent of the television age knows, children’s commercials are incredibly effective. And now children from all over the world are being shown advertisements for the same products. These products are also so complex and versatile that their appeal does not fade over time. So the children growing up with these digital neighborhoods will grow into a full-fledged online community, as we are already seeing today.

Is this new trend of assimilation a step up from the differentiated cultures that dominated at one time? How far will the wealthier countries lead over the less developed? Will the idea of a universal ideal family emerge out of this digital neighborhood?

By Jamie Goulart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPh_CHP77ko

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAfANb2Cs9Q

The Ever-Changing Family portrayed in the Media

The meaning of family is constantly changing in society. Today society’s families are made up of straight, gay, and lesbian couples. Some include children while others do not. Some couples are married while others cohabitate but still refer to themselves as family. Some families are blood relatives while others are a kinship formed family.
The media has noticed the changing and diversity of America’s family and that there is becoming less of an idea typical family, which includes a husband, wife and two children. Now families come in many different forms.

A TV show that is an example of how the media is adapting its shows to the ever-changing family structure in the US is clear in the show Gilmore Girls. In this show, a single mother has one daughter of her own. They live together in their own house. There is no father or paternal figure in the family. The grandparents or the mother’s parents are a part of their lives although they live a different conservative lifestyle. The mother’s name is Lorelai Gilmore. The daughter’s name is Rory Gilmore. Rory proves that success is possible for a child growing up in a single-family home as she is admitted into an Ivy League college securing her future. The mother and daughter share a close relationship through the difficulties of life. They show how family is love and is support for each other in whatever form family comes in. They do not have a father in their life but they have plenty of love that they share with each other. This show is a common scenario in the US today. There are many single mothers with a child.

“According to Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2005, released by the U.S. Census Bureau in August, 2007, there are approximately 13.6 million single parents in the United States today, and those parents are responsible for raising 21.2 million children (approximately 26% of children under 21 in the U.S. today).” Source is http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/p/portrait.htm.

Is the new view the media is taking and publicly sharing on TV changing the way families function in society today and could this portrayal encourage dysfunctional families or does it simply celebrate the diversity of types of families in society today? Or are there any other thoughts and comments you have on this subject?

-Taylor Faulkner's Portion of Group Blog.